Tales from the back of a black cab

I love that cabbies often self-edit for female passengers, trying (often in vain) to suppress their swearing without ever sense-checking their moral compass or unpleasant prejudices.

Cue big burly Londoner relating his run-in “with some f- err with some pikeys (I hate f- err pikeys)” who jumped in the back of his cab when he wasn’t looking and began a food fight as he drove them home to the camp under the A40.

My cabbie’s highlight? The bit where he squared up to a now half-naked lad offering to fight him instead of paying fare and cleaning bill, only for the patriarch to wade in and tell the kid “‘e’s a working man trying to earn a fair wage you f-‘ err I won’t say what he said, but it was rude, ‘so fuckin’ pay the man'”

Nobody can self-edit indefinitely. Or at all, when channelling the Daily Mail. It was a long trip.

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